Happy Thoughts
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: In which Katie attempts to summon a Patronus, but every happy memory has turned bittersweet. Oneshot.


_For the Hunger Games Fanfic Style III competition at the HPFC forums. Prompts used: emotion, word count (as per Google Docs.)_

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 **Happy Thoughts**

When she was told to pick a happy memory, Katie immediately pulled Oliver Wood from the deepest corners of her mind. But Oliver was no good to summon a Patronus, no matter how hard she tried. And after the first session on the subject with Harry and Dumbledore's Army, Katie kept trying, and trying… and nothing. Not even a puff of smoke.

As Angelina planned the next Quidditch training session in the Common Room, Alicia and Katie were practicing their Patronus charms, to be ready for the next meeting. Alicia's room was empty, and they had a few minutes before her roommates came back. And Oliver flooded Katie's mind. She'd kept him locked up for months, but she'd opened the floodgates and now she couldn't close them. Not that she wanted to, not now. The excitement filled her once again - they'd won the Quidditch cup, and then Oliver had kissed her. For an instant Katie had been the happiest person alive.

But that flame wasn't enough to light a Patronus. Everything had gone downhill since then.

He'd kissed her, sure, but later he'd been the one to apologize and say that he'd gotten carried away in the moment, that she was wonderful but it could never be. He was leaving Hogwarts, and she was too young, and if only things had been different…

She'd spent the Yule Ball crying and the current year wishing she had him there. He was always a bit too serious, almost humorless, but he could always manage to make her laugh. Just thinking of his reaction to an entire year without Quidditch was enough to make her grin, but it was short-lived.

 _This year sucks._

"I need a better happy memory." She lowered her wand. Beside her, Alicia had managed to produce a shapeless translucent blob. "What did you use?"

"I'm using my seventh birthday, when I got my first real broomstick." She smirked. "It was my brother's old one, but I didn't care. It was real, and it was all mine."

"Why did _that_ work and mine doesn't?"

"What did you choose?"

"The day we won the Quidditch cup."

Alicia frowned.

"That's because thinking of that makes you miserable."

Katie sighed. Every single friend she had always made it sound as if Oliver had ruined her life, as if Katie was silly for still thinking about him, and _that_ moment, and what could have been.

"It was the last moment in which I was truly happy. Don't give me that look. Think about it. Everything that happened after that… Quidditch was cancelled for an entire year, and now Voldemort is back, and it's just…"

She was supposed to be thinking happy thoughts, but she was in the brink of tears. They started to well up in her eyes without warning or permission. She wiped them off.

"It's not just him, Alicia. I swear it isn't."

"Might be, but you spend so much energy on him, Katie. What am I supposed to say?"

"What would you do if the bloke you've had a crush on for three years suddenly kissed you as any hope of a relationship becomes impossible?"

"And you call that a happy memory?"

Well. Alicia had a point.

"How about the first time you flew?" Alicia prodded. "Or your first night at Hogwarts?"

"The first time I flew I broke my arm, and I spent my first night at Hogwarts getting Leanne to stop crying for ending up in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw."

Alicia didn't answer, so Katie took advantage of the situation to try to explain herself better.

"What I liked about Oliver being here… other than, well, you know… I liked us. As a team. I miss everyone."

Alicia smiled stiffly.

"We're right here, Katie. You know that."

"You and Angelina share a room, and you see the twins at class every day. But me… I barely see you. None of us talk as we used to. I just… I miss the way things used to be. The second we won the cup, it was all over, and we didn't even know it… so now all my years at Hogwarts are out of question, because I will just get sad that things aren't that way anymore."

Katie hadn't meant to raise her voice, but there she was. Alicia had done nothing to deserve being yelled at, and her dark eyes were wide and just as crushed as Katie was feeling.

"Katie…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Alicia assured her. "Let's find the twins and drag Angelina away from her Quidditch stuff before shel works herself to exhaustion."

"Don't you want to practice some more?"

Alicia's smile returned, this time wider, this time reaching her eyes and lighting up her sweet face.

"We'll work on finding a good happy memory for you. But in the meantime, let's create some more."


End file.
